(found the link on fearthainn's LJ)
Galwen Tinuviel sighed heavily as she threw her velvet cloak to the floor. Feisty anger flashed in her black eyes. 'Curse you father!' she muttered to herself under her breath. 'An arranged marriage! How could you do this to me... your only daughter! Have you no care for my own happiness?' She flopped over onto her soft silk-sheeted bed and glanced around at the empty room. Tears began to flood her eyes and roll softly down her porcelain cheeks. 'I cannot marry another,' she said in a voice no louder than a whisper. 'I cannot, for my true love is Frodo Baggins.'
Standing, Galwen Tinuviel walked solemnly to the window that overlooked the city of Isengard. The sun was just setting for the night, casting a golden glow over the countryside. But the beauty of the scene touched not Galwen Tinuviel's heart, for it was saddened by the news that had been given to her only hours before. She was to be married to Aragorn, who was a close personal friend of her father's. She had been given no say in this matter- it was arranged behind her back. And there was no turning away from it now. Tomorrow, she would leave for Hobbiton to meet her future husband. And the day following, they would be wed.
Galwen Tinuviel clutched at the windowsill until her knuckles turned white, and she wept bitter tears. How could this be happening? All her life, she had been happy and carefree, and now this trouble... What had she done to deserve such a fate? Slowly, and with the blur of tears still in her vivid black eyes, she paced about her bedroom. All she could think of now was Frodo Baggins, and how the news would break his heart.
They had met two summers ago in Orodruin, when Galwen Tinuviel had gone for a ride in the country with her mother and sisters. But when Galwen Tinuviel had strayed off the path to follow an adorable baby camel, she had become separated from her family and hopelessly lost. Then out of nowhere a band of orcs had appeared to attack her. By some stroke of luck, she happened to have her father's sword hidden secretly within the folds of her skirt. But though she managed to kill 7 of the foul creatures, she was soon outnumbered.
Then just as she though her life would be ended, a beautiful dream-like vision appeared before her. The deadly warrior who had come to her rescue, a handsome Hobbit, quickly killed off the remaining 12 orcs with his bow before rushing to Galwen Tinuviel's side.
It was love at first sight. The moment she looked into his sparkling red eyes, Galwen Tinuviel knew there would never be any other for her. 'My name is Frodo Baggins,' he said in a voice soft as the summer wind. Tenderly, he put a hand on her breast to make sure she was alright. 'Are you hurt, my lady?' he asked.
'No,' she replied. In truth there was a bad cut on her nose, but she didn't want to worry Frodo Baggins. 'And my name is Galwen Tinuviel.'
'Galwen Tinuviel,' Frodo Baggins repeated. He said the name as if savouring the sound of it on his tongue. 'That is a beautiful name, fit for so beautiful a lady.'
Galwen Tinuviel blushed coyly. She could feel his eyes wandering over her body, from head to foot, as he took in the sight of her laying on the grass. In truth, she was beautiful. Unusually so, some said. Her father came from the line of orcs of Mithlond, while her mother was born into a lordly house of elves in Minas Morgul. The blending of the two races came together perfectly in Galwen Tinuviel, giving her an exotic look that few males found they could resist. Large almond-shaped bright black eyes were framed perfectly by shimmering waves of thick blue hair that fell to her waist. A sapphire-encrusted mithril pendant hung ever from her slender white neck, accentuating the delicate frame of her collarbone.
Suddenly, Galwen Tinuviel and Frodo Baggins were interrupted by a wild cry that signified more orcs still lurked nearby. 'Come,' said Frodo Baggins as he hurried Galwen Tinuviel to her feet. 'It is not safe to linger here. You must come with me, and hurry!' Taking Galwen Tinuviel's hand, he hastened away from the sound. Galwen Tinuviel did her best to keep up with him, but the pain in her nose was too great.
'My lady!' gasped Frodo Baggins when he saw her lagging behind. 'You are injured!' Immediately he sat her down to examine the wound. Blood had already started to soak through her gown in an ugly red stain. 'I must tend to this wound now as best I can,' he said. 'We will find a healer later, but for now this cannot wait.' Without a second thought, he pulled off his pants and began tearing it into bandages for Galwen Tinuviel's nose.
With this makeshift bandage in place, Galwen Tinuviel and Frodo Baggins were able to hurry on their way. The cries of orcs were ever-present behind them, but they ran swiftly. Soon, Galwen Tinuviel found herself in front of a small cabin, which she guessed must belong to Frodo Baggins. He held the door open as he stepped inside, beckoning for her to follow him. 'Come in,' he said. 'We will be much safer in here.'
Galwen Tinuviel took a deep breath as she stepped toward the cabin door. Here she was, a young virgin noblewoman, about to be alone in a cabin with someone she had just met. It was true he was the most handsome Hobbit she had ever seen, and he had just saved her life, but were his true intentions that noble? And what would her family, especially her father, say once they found out where she had been? Galwen Tinuviel had half a mind to run back home right then, but as she heard the clamour of orcs drawing nearer once more, she realised she had no choice. She steeled her will and followed Frodo Baggins into the cabin, shutting the door firmly behind her.
And go look at fearthainn's hilarious result too!