Human Virus Scanner
The virus that have infected you will be show here along with thier cures, if known.
Viruses you suffer from:
Pokemon
Pikachu! Use your hyper-electric-get-a-life move now!
8-Bit
Polygons, all the polygons you can get are not enough.
Japan
Big is good. Small is bad. Giant robots would not make a good last line of defence for Earth.
Sci-fi
Stop wearing the stick-on ears.
Windows
Try MacOS X. It's based on UNIX, it has a smoother UI than Windows and it doesn't suck.
As an extra feature the boxes look nice.
Free BSD
The GPL isn't that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo.
Politics
Stop caring!
Brand Names
Having a well-known name doesn't make it good.
Computer Games
Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.
Ultima
If you find one tell us.
Environmentalism
Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.
Cars
There just hunks of metal which go real fast. Ride a bike through London at rush hour.
Viruses you might suffer from:
Linux (95%)
Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.
USA (60%)
Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves! [repeat]
Junkfood (60%)
Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.
BBCB (70%)
CTRL-Break, and get a real computer. Repeat: "Mode 7 was not a good thing."
Religion (90%)
Read "God's Debris" by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)
UNIX (75%)
Anything this old must be obselete. Go and install a nice modern operating system. I hear MSDOS has come a long way lately.
X11 (60%)
I hear Mac OS 10 Aqua is nice at this time of year.
Hippyism (93%)
Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.
Macintosh (60%)
Use a mouse with more than one button.
I dare to disagree with parts of it, but it definitely is a brilliant thing... XD